Blocking someone

I wish there was a way to block my soon to be ex-husband from following this blog – then I could make it private so he can’t see stuff – but he won’t unfollow me so I guess that’s the way it will be

Another daily post

Originally posted March 6, 2011

I’ve decided that it’s time for me to start a blog – more of a daily journal than anything. By no means is my life special or interesting but I feel I need to do this for my children. I have 2 wonderful children (yeah doesn’t every mom say that lol) but my kids are great.
My son David is from my first marriage – he is a wonderful boy – sometimes he really gets on me and I think I’d rather not be a mom but then I remember how I was when I was his age and well the mother’s curse has come true. So I take a deep breath and try not to loose it. He’s a teenage boy thru and thru and he loves and adores his dad (even tho I can’t understand why) but he does and I support that he will one day figure things out but until then he will adore his dad. He loves science and anything associated with science – so this shocks me when I get my son’s grades and he’s flunking it – I just can’t imagine why he is and I can’t seem to get his teacher to talk to me so now I’m going to go to the principal so I can see what is up with him flunking his class. He loves everything any teenage boy likes. He’s in scouts and doing so well I am so proud of him. He went to a scout camp last summer and he got some merit badges that he was told that he wouldn’t get for a while – he was very proud of himself (as was I)
Then there’s Megan – our little princess, the little girl I didn’t think I’d ever have. She was quite the suprise when I found out I was pregnant with her. I had an IUD and of course thought there was NO WAY I’d get pregnant and that was the goal. I was 40 when I found out that I was pregnant and at first I was terrified then very slowly – very very slowly – I accepted it – it was hard. I just couldn’t fatham being 40, just married (Tim and I had just gotten married a couple of months earlier) and he was out of a job, AND being pregnant. I had given up the desire to have another baby and just decided that it would never happen. Well someone else had different plans for us. Megan has been a blessing in our lives since the day she was born and she and her brother have this wonderful connection – for lack of a better phrase they are kindred souls.Megan’s face lights up when her ” day-day” comes in the room. I love it and it makes me so happy.

Daily post

Originally posted March 7, 2011

Today was day 2 of this week at work – I’m a receptionist full time while Tim is a stay at home dad and he also goes to school full time from home so he can take care of Megan and she doesn’t have to be in a daycare. we are very lucky and blessed that we are able to keep up with most of the bills. Anyways I’m pretty much hating my job right now – it’s really not my job that I like it’s the other receptionist – she just thinks she runs the place and it really drives me nuts. Our boss is pretty sick of me bitching all the time about it but nothing is being done. I just get so frustrated with the whole situation, I just don’t know what to do anymore trying to find a new job is all but impossible – trust me it’s not that I haven’t tried or been on a few interviews, it’s that others are being picked over me and that’s pretty hard – I need to get out of this situation and I just don’t know how to do it since I”m not getting any support from anyone at work. I just want to retreat and sit in my corner do my work and come in when I should and leave when I should and not do anything more – I’m just so unhappy with the situation. There was a situation yesterday where the other receptionist and a coworker – were yelling (yes really yelling) at each other over something I don’t know what, at the front desk, in front of a patient and while I was on the phone. The patient I was talking to on the phone made a comment asking what was going on so I ended up putting them on hold until the yelling stopped. So I bring this up to my boss today and I was told “not to worry about it, it has been resolved” Really – this was so wrong it’s not funny. I just really can’t believe that was the end of it.
Tim and David are off to ACT – because we are all overweight Megan and David’s dr suggested that we take part in this class that the local YMCA offers and it’s about how to eat healthier and to get us more active. we go to class one night a week (usually Tuesday) and we get a free membership to the Y while we are in the class. Unfortunately we’ve not used it as much as we should and both Tim and I are feeling that we are not getting as much out of it as we had hoped. It was supposed to be 2 nights a week and they lost their funding for the 2nd night so it ended up being just one night. And it seems like it’s all girls – they are all so loud and so rude it just drives me nuts. for the first half an hour we do an activity “exercising” the 2nd hour the parents go to class and the children go to their class then for the last half an hour we’re all together – I just hate when the kids come in because they are all so loud and rude last week when it was time for the kids to come in the teacher was still going over things and they come running in loud and interrupting her – and not one parent said anything to their child I really couldn’t believe it. Tonite I stayed home cos I have a headache and Megan is sick so she’s napping and I’m going to go in with her in a few minutes and try to rest as well.

Daily post

Originally posted March 13, 2011

Well dinner is done and over – my dad was here for it Tim made biscuits and sausage gravy with hash browns and scrambled eggs. Bad thing – I couldn’t taste a darn thing, Ive got a cold and feel miserable and was really looking forward to it – Tim’s been talking about it for a couple of days now and it’s one of my comfort foods so when I woke up from my nap this afternoon I was really looking forward to it. He also made – I dunno what they are called but they are fried tortillas, cut up into squares, and then sprinkled with cinnamon sugar. Really yummy again comfort food for me.
And not just cos I’m sick but the whole earthquake in Japan really scares me – not too many people know this (ha now the whole world will have access to it lol) but when I was a teenager I had a dream that I died in an earthquake -it was weird not even from my perspective either like I was watching the whole thing. So whenever I hear about an earthquake it scares the hell out of me and this one well it’s so devastating that I’m just terrified. I know there’s not much I can do if it’s my time to go it’s my time to go it’s my time but man it just really scares me.
Megan has decided that her name is frog – she was in the bathroom with yesterday – yes I have an audience when I use the bathroom – and I have some towels that have frogs on them – long story I’ll get into it another time lol – and she always asks “what’s that?” and points at the frogs so I tell her “frog” so yesterday as we are doing this I point at her and say “who’s that” and she says “frog” so I tell her no you’re Megan – she points at herself and says frog – except it sounds more like “rog” no “f” sound yet lol we’ve been trying to teach her her name so she can say it but she won’t so now she’s frog – I think it’s kinda cute lol my little frog I love her so much

New Stuff

Oringally posted October 10, 2011

Well it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything – just plain crazy life –

David completed 7th grade in June and is now in the 8th grade and playing on the football team and loving it — except when he has to play in the rain like today -lol it’s just pouring rain here. AHHHHH lovely Seattle weather. He got good grades last year at the end of the year (not as good as I would have liked – I was raised that anything lower than an A or a B was just not acceptable) I don’t mind a “c” grade but a “D” to me is not acceptable and he had a couple of those – not happy about it but they had been “F”‘s previous to that so I am happy and proud that he did work his butt off and got the grades up to at least passing. So far so good this year – but then now he’s got sports that are making him keep good grades not just me bickering at him lol.

Megan is growing and learning so many things every day – she wants to copy everything we do so we have to be very careful with what we say and what we do because she will be seen doing it very soon afterwards. she’s talking like crazy – she’s saying a few short sentences – she’s been doing that for about a month now. We had to go over to Spokane last month because Tim’s Aunt passed away and she started doing it there. She refers to herself as MeiMei so we do to – we also found out that MeiMei means “little sister” in Chinese – one of Tim’s cousins is adopting a baby from China and that’s what they are going to call her. It’s very cute and I love that she refers to herself that way. She loves to help us – when we are doing anything she wants to join in, she’s not feeling to good today. Hopefully just a little runny nose and a cough but I just hope not too bad.

Food Storage

I originally posted this on another blog October 17, 2011

so I’m really gung ho lately on the whole emergency prep and 3 month food storage — I just really feel that this is something our family needs to be working on – I don’t know why I just know that we need to do it and each time I try to get my family to help me or back me up on it – I just get ignored I don’t know what to do – I can’t be the only one who is concerned about it – there are 3 other people in this house that need to help me — well 2 the third can’t worry about it now but in the future she will lol — but man I don’t know how to get them to understand how important this is.

I found this great website www.foodstoragemadeeasy.net and they have some great ideas on how to do just this. Right now I’m working on getting a month of meals together that are shelf stable. My problem right now is how do I get the non shelf stable stuff to save for our meals — meat, dairy stuff, eggs like that I dunno maybe that wouldn’t matter in a 3 month period I don’t know

New Blog

I will be creating a new blog as my soon to be ex husband is following this one.  I can’t figure out how to delete him and I asked him twice last night to unfollow this blog, and as of right now (10:30 am Seattle time) he still hasn’t. I’m not sure how well I will keep this one up so if you’d like to follow the other one – as I will be making it private – then please let me know.

Thanks

Rebecca

last post

I apologize to all who received my last blog post entitled “divorce moving and whatever else may come” it was meant to be for my eyes only and II thought I had made it private and I didn’t.

I apologize to my soon to be ex husband.

I apologize to you who follow my blog – you did not need to be subjected to what I said.

 

Reality check

Love them — (Note sarcasm) Hate them is more like it. However we need them from time to time. Since January my life has been a living hell. Really I thought I’d have a job by now – I really did – I didn’t think it would be this hard to find a new job. I don’t know what I am doing wrong if I am or if it’s just that I need to be doing something other than what I am doing. The problem is I just don’t know, that I think is why I”m having such a hard time. I’ve been working full time all my life since I was 16 that’s almost 30 years now and for the last year (almost) I haven’t been. I feel guilty I feel not needed I feel like I’m letting my family down and really it’s getting me so down that I feel worthless. I’ve told my Mary Kay director a few times that I”m feeling so over whelmed and it’s all my feelings of being inadequate for my family. I feel like I’m letting so many people down. I feel like such a looser.

So earlier last week my director asked me if I was coming to this event with a speaker, she felt that what he had to say would help me (yes in her words) with getting my head around things. I can’t really explain it but it wasn’t motivational speaking, it wasn’t training – Mary Kay wise anyways – it was life coaching or life training I guess you could say. The speaker was Larry DiAngi, I’ve never heard of him before but he is very popular among the Mary Kay director circles. To be honest I wasn’t all that impressed with him – I really hate to say it because well if Mary Kay directors really look up to what he has to say then there has to be something about him right – so I listened I took some notes and I bought a couple of books so I can read thru them and hopefully find what everyone was talking about. He said a lot of things that really jumped out at me but nothing that really made me feel that I had gotten my money’s worth has of yet. Then almost to the end he handed out a worksheet — it had a bunch of aspects of our lives – “Where you live” Your family, your children, your marriage how you bring in money, your Mary Kay business etc 21 in all – and we were to read them and the first word that hit us we were to write down. He had a list of 8 words peace, freedom, love, hope, fear, restriction, hate and frustration. Of course the first four are positive and the second four are negative – well frustration, he said, really isn’t negative it could be positive too. By doing this worksheet we would be able to see where the places in our lives we needed to improve on – to do research and fix them. So in looking at them 13 had a “negative” word after them, 5 had positive and 3 had “frustrated” and I”m not sure if it’s negative or positive. So this really tells me that I have a lot of work to do in my life.

So today in church we were talking about a scripture in Psalm 139:23 & 24 – basically it says “Search me O god and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” So I came home from church and said a little prayer basically saying this scripture and I kept getting the thought to read that list from yesterday again. So I’m taking that to mean I need to focus on the negativity and get it out of my life. There are certain things I can’t fix right now – like where we live — yes I hate it here and really we can’t change it but my attitude about the place can change. I can make our home better. I realize this place is a stepping stone and eventually we will be in a different place hopefully not an apartment – there are things that need to be done in this apartment – we need to have a garage sale and get rid of a lot of the stuff that is just sitting there taking up room that could be sold or donated, I dunno maybe I’ll just get rid of them all and donate it all – that will save me lots of time and worry about selling stuff —

Laundry Soap (version two)

Here is the recipe that we use on a regular basis for our Laundry soap. To make a 5 gallon bucket of soap (which actually makes 10 gallons of soap) will cost about $2.50 (besides the initial cost of the bucket) and will last us about 2 months. Definitely saves us a BUNCH of money. We mainly started doing this because Megan’s skin was so sensitive to everything that we use so since we started using this shortly after she was born.

4  gallons hot tap water
1  Zote or Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda* (I was able to find in Fred Meyer locally or you can google it and find lots of places to order it from)
½ Cup Borax

– Grate bar of soap – seriously grate it, I had no one around to grate it for me today so I just warmed it in the microwave and cut it up into cubes hoping it would melt in the microwave (that’s how I make my body wash with Dove soap) – yeah that doesn’t work LOL grate the soap and put in a saucepan with enough hot water to cover the soap. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted. DO NOT walk away from this – it will boil over in a matter of seconds and you will end up with soap all over and eventually a clean stove ;)

This is what mine looked like – since I didn’t grate it and it was just cut up in chunks – it still worked just took longer for it to mix together.

-Fill a 5 gallon bucket about a quarter full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.

Here is my 5 gallon bucket with water in it –

Putting in the borax and washing soda (of course a little help from Megan)

I should have taken pics of Megan helping me stir it — imagine 3 year old using a spoon ( you know the kind you use to eat cereal or soup with) to mix the “pink soap” for me.

I didn’t get a pic of dumping the melted soap in cos – well – I had to use two hands to hold the pan and my 3 year old is just not that talented yet lol, to take the picture for me. So now it’s sitting over night and I will be able to attack laundry again tomorrow.

-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser (I use an old bleach container) half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)

-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled.

-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.

-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)

-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

*Arm & Hammer “Super Washing Soda” Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent – It must be sodium carbonate!!

•Works well in traditional or HE machines as it is low sudsing. It is the ingredients in the soap, not the suds, that does the cleaning. I used it in mine, when we had one, and I know lots that use it in theirs. This recipe comes right from the Duggar’s website and I know that’s what they have in their home.

•Clumping and geling of the detergent is normal. Stir before putting in dispenser, and shake before each use.