last post

I apologize to all who received my last blog post entitled “divorce moving and whatever else may come” it was meant to be for my eyes only and II thought I had made it private and I didn’t.

I apologize to my soon to be ex husband.

I apologize to you who follow my blog – you did not need to be subjected to what I said.

 

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Reality check

Love them — (Note sarcasm) Hate them is more like it. However we need them from time to time. Since January my life has been a living hell. Really I thought I’d have a job by now – I really did – I didn’t think it would be this hard to find a new job. I don’t know what I am doing wrong if I am or if it’s just that I need to be doing something other than what I am doing. The problem is I just don’t know, that I think is why I”m having such a hard time. I’ve been working full time all my life since I was 16 that’s almost 30 years now and for the last year (almost) I haven’t been. I feel guilty I feel not needed I feel like I’m letting my family down and really it’s getting me so down that I feel worthless. I’ve told my Mary Kay director a few times that I”m feeling so over whelmed and it’s all my feelings of being inadequate for my family. I feel like I’m letting so many people down. I feel like such a looser.

So earlier last week my director asked me if I was coming to this event with a speaker, she felt that what he had to say would help me (yes in her words) with getting my head around things. I can’t really explain it but it wasn’t motivational speaking, it wasn’t training – Mary Kay wise anyways – it was life coaching or life training I guess you could say. The speaker was Larry DiAngi, I’ve never heard of him before but he is very popular among the Mary Kay director circles. To be honest I wasn’t all that impressed with him – I really hate to say it because well if Mary Kay directors really look up to what he has to say then there has to be something about him right – so I listened I took some notes and I bought a couple of books so I can read thru them and hopefully find what everyone was talking about. He said a lot of things that really jumped out at me but nothing that really made me feel that I had gotten my money’s worth has of yet. Then almost to the end he handed out a worksheet — it had a bunch of aspects of our lives – “Where you live” Your family, your children, your marriage how you bring in money, your Mary Kay business etc 21 in all – and we were to read them and the first word that hit us we were to write down. He had a list of 8 words peace, freedom, love, hope, fear, restriction, hate and frustration. Of course the first four are positive and the second four are negative – well frustration, he said, really isn’t negative it could be positive too. By doing this worksheet we would be able to see where the places in our lives we needed to improve on – to do research and fix them. So in looking at them 13 had a “negative” word after them, 5 had positive and 3 had “frustrated” and I”m not sure if it’s negative or positive. So this really tells me that I have a lot of work to do in my life.

So today in church we were talking about a scripture in Psalm 139:23 & 24 – basically it says “Search me O god and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” So I came home from church and said a little prayer basically saying this scripture and I kept getting the thought to read that list from yesterday again. So I’m taking that to mean I need to focus on the negativity and get it out of my life. There are certain things I can’t fix right now – like where we live — yes I hate it here and really we can’t change it but my attitude about the place can change. I can make our home better. I realize this place is a stepping stone and eventually we will be in a different place hopefully not an apartment – there are things that need to be done in this apartment – we need to have a garage sale and get rid of a lot of the stuff that is just sitting there taking up room that could be sold or donated, I dunno maybe I’ll just get rid of them all and donate it all – that will save me lots of time and worry about selling stuff —

Laundry Soap (version two)

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Here is the recipe that we use on a regular basis for our Laundry soap. To make a 5 gallon bucket of soap (which actually makes 10 gallons of soap) will cost about $2.50 (besides the initial cost of the bucket) and will last us about 2 months. Definitely saves us a BUNCH of money. We mainly started doing this because Megan’s skin was so sensitive to everything that we use so since we started using this shortly after she was born.

4  gallons hot tap water
1  Zote or Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 Cup Arm & Hammer Super Washing Soda* (I was able to find in Fred Meyer locally or you can google it and find lots of places to order it from)
½ Cup Borax

– Grate bar of soap – seriously grate it, I had no one around to grate it for me today so I just warmed it in the microwave and cut it up into cubes hoping it would melt in the microwave (that’s how I make my body wash with Dove soap) – yeah that doesn’t work LOL grate the soap and put in a saucepan with enough hot water to cover the soap. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted. DO NOT walk away from this – it will boil over in a matter of seconds and you will end up with soap all over and eventually a clean stove ;)

This is what mine looked like – since I didn’t grate it and it was just cut up in chunks – it still worked just took longer for it to mix together.

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-Fill a 5 gallon bucket about a quarter full of hot tap water. Add melted soap, washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to thicken.

Here is my 5 gallon bucket with water in it –

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Putting in the borax and washing soda (of course a little help from Megan)

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I should have taken pics of Megan helping me stir it — imagine 3 year old using a spoon ( you know the kind you use to eat cereal or soup with) to mix the “pink soap” for me.

I didn’t get a pic of dumping the melted soap in cos – well – I had to use two hands to hold the pan and my 3 year old is just not that talented yet lol, to take the picture for me. So now it’s sitting over night and I will be able to attack laundry again tomorrow.

-Stir and fill a used, clean, laundry soap dispenser (I use an old bleach container) half full with soap and then fill rest of way with water. Shake before each use. (will gel)

-Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per 2 gallons. Add once soap has cooled.

-Yield: Liquid soap recipe makes 10 gallons.

-Top Load Machine- 5/8 Cup per load (Approx. 180 loads)

-Front Load Machines- ¼ Cup per load (Approx. 640 loads)

*Arm & Hammer “Super Washing Soda” Baking Soda will not work, nor will Arm & Hammer Detergent – It must be sodium carbonate!!

•Works well in traditional or HE machines as it is low sudsing. It is the ingredients in the soap, not the suds, that does the cleaning. I used it in mine, when we had one, and I know lots that use it in theirs. This recipe comes right from the Duggar’s website and I know that’s what they have in their home.

•Clumping and geling of the detergent is normal. Stir before putting in dispenser, and shake before each use.

Shower Sinus tablets – 2nd recipe

Megan has a cold (the she got from the little girl who I’ve been watching – but that’s a whole nother post) so I went to make the sinus tablets that I posted before but I didn’t have all the things I need for it and since I didn’t want to go out while she’s sick I just looked on Pinterest to see if there was a different recipe, and of course there is so I decided to try it. I’m not sure if I like it because I was hoping that I would be able to use them right away – poor baby is so stuffed it’s not funny and I”m wanting some relief for the poor kiddo – and I don’t think I”ll be able to I think I will have to wait till tomorrow to use them. I found the recipe like I said on Pinterest that linked to this site.   She basically has two “recipes” on the page one that you mix and let sit overnight and one that you can make up and use right away — well within a couple of hours anyways. So since I wanted to be able to use them tonite I opted for the ones that I could use within a couple of hours. So here’s what you do

1 cup of baking soda

1/3 cup of water

essential oils – lavender, Rosemary and Eucalyptus

muffin tin and paper liners

Mix the baking soda and the water together until its a thick paste (I had to add more but I”ll get to that later). Put the mixture into the lined muffin tins and bake in the oven at 350 for 20 minutes. Once the puck is cooled put a drop or two of each of the essential oils on the top of the puck. Store in an airtight container. To use the puck – when you are taking a shower put it the puck in the corner of the shower and allow it to work it’s magic.

Here’s what I did —— I started with the cup of baking soda and slowly added the water – it made it SUPER watery and I thought to myself — I”m gonna make these super good and added some of the menthol crystals that I still have on hand from the last time I made them. (I added 1/2 teaspoon of the crystals to I dunno how much water prob another 1/4 cup of boiling water. I let them dissolve and then added that water to the water and baking soda mix.) Then I kept adding baking soda until it was to a really thick paste, I ended up using almost half a box for the recipe (and it was a brand new box). Then using an ice cream scoop I put one scoop in each muffin cup and I ended up with 10 of the cups full. Then I baked them for prob more like 30 minutes – you know sick baby on my arms can’t get right up when the buzzer goes off lol. So it also says to take the pucks out before they are 100% cooled down — well there was no way that was gonna happen – it was about an hour later and I was able to get most of them out without the paper liner tearing a couple tore a little but I was still able to get them out one tore pretty bad and I had to force it out with a knife and it’s not in good condition so since it’s still wet I just put it in a new liner and pressed it back together. So either I needed to add more baking soda or cook it longer – not sure which or perhaps it’s both. So now I’ve put two drops of each of the essential oils on each puck and I”m letting them dry more. I just put them on a cookie rack so the air can really flow around them and hopefully dry them out tonite. I love this rack by Pampered Chef it rocks – it’s holds a lot of cookies on them and they stack too. So I will post again tomorrow once Megan has a chance to use one tonite if I think they’re any better than the first recipe I posted.

 

 

Weight Loss goal

A few steps closer to achieving my goal – I purchased a water bottle today (34 oz) to help with my water intake — it’s a liter of water and if I drink 2 a day then I”m good (considering I’ve not been drinking hardly any) I also purchased a beginning yoga dvd — and I found this great motivational idea on Pinterest – it consists of 2 jars, some letter stickers, and some glass beads. Based on how much weight I wanted to lose, I put the beads (found in the floral dept at Hobby Lobby) in the jar, I put a big bead in for the last one (it’s acutally a necklace pendant that I”m going to have Tim make a necklace for me when I acheive my goal) and a bigger bead for every ten pounds. So I need to lose 84 pounds – I have 75 of the glass floral beads, 8 of the bigger beads and 1 pendant. Once my phone is charged I will post pictures of what I did. Then I put on the jar with the beads, using the stickers “pounds to go” and on the other jar “pounds lost” I will weight myself every Sunday am and then I will move over the amount of beads per the amount of weight I have lost that week. As long as I stay on goal (3 lbs a week) I figure I will acheive my goal by July 21st

2012 in review

So here it is Jan 1, 2013 – a new year – and I don’t know who said it or wrote it – I stole it from someone on Twitter but this was so profound to me —– “Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one!” I have a blank book in front of me and I want to make it a good one – I’ve never really thought of it that way before. Very smart person who said it, very smart. There is so much I want to change in my life this year, while 2012 was not a bad year it’s not the best I’ve ever used. I got fired from my job and I had to fight for my unemployment benefits, had to move out of our house – that we had thought we’d be in forever, had to move into an apartment with the up and downstairs neighbors from hell, and for the last month stressing to find out if I will have unemployment benefits extended (think fiscal cliff drama) or if we will have no money to live on since I still don’t have a job.

Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive and forget.  I stole this as well from someone on Twitter, I already closed out my twitter account his name is Phil and he’s an author — I’ll remember shortly and add his last name lol. 2012 was such a stressful year that I am truely looking forward to what I will accomplish this next year and we as a family as well. I have many things I want to accomplish this next year, but I need to leave all the crap of 2012 behind me.

I have a number of goals for the year (most are probably the same that I had last year considering I didn’t work to well on them lol). I don’t call them resolutions because well they are something I want to work on all year long and not just until I mess up and I”m not following it anymore, and my list is in no special order just as they have come to mind.

1. Live on a real budget – not just spend but budget and make sure everything is working right.

2. Read scriptures as a family daily. I’m not sure how we will do this because the #1 thing that is said to keep this consistent is to do it at the same time every day. Well Tim will be going to school 2 nights a week until 9 pm so I’m not sure how we are going to work it but we will figure it out lol

3. 72 hour kits – food and water at the minimum. I would love to have all this stuff that the doomsday preppers have prepared but baby steps right — I just need to get this stuff done – I’ve been feeling like this is something we need to get done for a while and since no one else in the family wants to help out I’m just going to do it and when the time comes to actually use it then they will thank me

4. Lose weight – I have to lose at least 80 lbs – I don’t feel good about myself, I don’t feel sexy, I don’t feel pretty, and I have no clothes that fit me – I was going to a Christmas party the other day and I went thru my closet to find something to wear and everything was too small. In addition I just want to eat better — I’m thinking my #1 goal is to eat smaller portions. I’m sure that will help ALOT lol

5. I want to be more aware of the goodness around me rather than focusing on the negative – as I have been this last year.  We are going to do a blessing jar or a good thing jar or something like that.  Where when we have a good thing happen or we see a blessing in our life we put it on a piece of paper and put it in the jar then on New Years eve we open the jar and read them all.

Well I think that’s enough for now — I’ve been working on this post for 5 hours — time to put it to bed

my meal planning adventure

I have been trying different things so that meal planning can be done. This is mainly because I’ve noticed if I have the meal planned, the food purchased and then we don’t go out as much. The temptation really isn’t even there because I know the food is at home and I feel like I’ve wasted money and time if we don’t eat at home. So last month I got the meal planning done — just went week by week – and we stuck to it fairly well. It didn’t fall apart until — yup you guessed it I wasn’t on top of things and we didn’t have a meal plan.  Well now we do and I’m back on top of it.  One thing that needed to be resolved was how to keep everything together so that the food I had just purchased didn’t get used in another meal (breakfast or lunch) or get snacked on. I was on pinterest one day and someone had pinned a bin idea. So I checked it out and what this gal does is when she gets home from shopping she puts everything for the meal for each day in the bin along with the meal for that night.  I took it a step further and put the recipe for the meal (if one is needed) as well so I don’t have to search for the recipe. I do have all the recipes that we use on a regular basis in a binder, in page protectors.

I found a great blog where she plans the meals her family eats for a year. She has a lot of great printables to organize your binder, and some great blogs to go to for recipes. I’m not quite to the year phase of it but I”m doing it weekly at least and hopefully will get to a month soon – it just seems like everything changes in our schedule so fast that the monthly plan doesn’t work as well. But weekly or even every two weeks. I also went to this blog, and she has some great weekly menu planning printables (and monthly too), that I use. I keep the weekly one on the fridge and we cross off what we didn’t like, because we are trying a lot of new recipes (thanks Pinterest). Then I’m keeping the entire month of menu’s to base the next month’s meals off of. And I still have the recipes cos they’re in the binder in a page protector. I wish I could find some recipe templates that I can copy and paste my recipe’s on. The ones that are in the first blog (the year long planning) are in PDF and I can’t edit them. Image

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The first picture is the recipe in the bin and off to the side is all the ingredients, the 2nd picture is everything in the bin and the 3rd is all the bins lined up on top of our cabinets. We don’t have much room where we are living so this is the only place to put them.